Indian Patriotism, Patriots and the like.

Last night, i was watching CNN Exclusive interview with Mr.P. Chidambaram. The man which i hold in awe is our Finance Minister and had recently passed the Financial Budget for this year. I was wonder struck at his genius, the way he talked, the technical yet simple terms which he subtly used to describe about the growing Inflation and Price Hikes and the Growth Rate of India for this Financial year. The correspondent was asking Chidambaram if the inflation now which is at 11% can touch the 12% mark.Even if the 1% increase sounds normal for laymen, it would mean a steep increase in inflation for the people who have come across the basic elemental Economics and Statistics. I was again in awe as to how he was answering the questions posed to him. He said he has no clue and was unsure if inflation would increase to 12%.
The second question posed to him was about the Growth Rate, the correspondent has asked if the growth rate would increase to 9-10% to which Mr Chidambaram has said its so premature a stage now to say that, but continued saying that given the condition of Indian Democracy and the Financial status of India in the present situation a vivid growth is not to be expected but it would stay stable at 8%.
Why I basically am listing out tidbits from the interview is that, to me it was a real show of genius.The simple yet powerful use of his lexis and the thorough understanding of the Indian Statistics and the powerful and meaningful number crunching on screen struck me like an arrow. I never actually thought in depth as to how much a genius he was, its obvious though as he is voted Mantri No. 1 in IBN and NDTV polls conducted. He held his office for some 3 governments if i am not wrong, showing his extreme versatility in Indian Politics. Few people who can be compared in the same range according to me are, the noted economist Amartya Sen, our present Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, ex-Prime Minister Narasimha Rao and our ex-President Dr.APJ Abdul Kalam. These people have given back something to the country in return for what the country have given them. They stand as stalwarts to the saying "Ask not what the country gave you, but ask yourself what you have done for the country". Recently when i was reading a post ,on similar lines of Indian Patriotism, in one of my friend's blog ,i was drawn in that patriotic wave which is now swelling high among the new younger generation of our country.
I basically think everything in the practical manner, so i was wondering a change would start from a change in yourself and for a change in society we have to wait long for the effect to take place. There are many people voicing their views about the possible strategies for a combined unity in the Indian Democracy.
Like my friend i have dreams too, but something of lesser nature.And to follow my dream i need immense strength and courage to push forward and to break all barriers and stigmas in this society. Slowly people are turning to change and striving for a better India.
Signing off in a very patriotic way....
Mera Bharat Mahaan....Mother India..

My Geek Code

GEDd-s:a--CU---P!L++EW++N++o+KWO+M+V--PS
PE+Y+PGP-t-5XR-tv+b++DI+D+G+++e++h--r+++
y+z+++

Pick Up lines used on Engineering Girls...!

1. I won't stop bugging you until I get the address of your home page.

2. You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.

3. Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.

4. My love for you is like a concave up function because it is always increasing.

5. Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.

6. Wanna come back to my room? ...and see my MHz Pentium?

7. How about me and you go back to my place and form a covalent bond?

8. Me and you would add up better than a Riemann sum.

9. You're sweeter than glucose.

10. We're as compatible as two similar Power Macintoshes.

11. Why don't we measure the coefficient of static friction between me and you?

12. Wanna see the programs in my HP-48GX?

13. Your body has the nicest arc length I've ever seen.

14. Isn't your e-mail address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com

15. You're hotter than a Bunsen burner set to full power

16. I'd like to browse through your clothes like I browse through Firefox.

P R E - R E L A T I O N S H I P A G R E E M E N T

The party of the first part (herein referred to as she/her) being of sound mind and fairly good body, agrees to the following with the party of the second part (herein referred to as he/him)

1. FULL DISCLOSURE: At the commencement of said relationship (colloquially referred to as the first date or match up), each party agrees to fully disclose any current girl/boyfriends, dependent children, bizarre religious beliefs, phobias, fears, social diseases, strange political affiliations, or currently active relationships with anyone else that have not yet been terminated. Further each party agrees to make known any deep-seated mother/father/brother/sister complexes and fanatical obsessions with pets, careers, or organized sports. Failure to make these disclosures will result in the immediate termination of said relationship before it has a chance to get anywhere.

2. INDEMNIFICATION OF FRIENDS: Both parties agree to hold the person who arranged the liaison (colloquially referred to as the "matchmaker") blameless in the event the "fix-up" turns out to be a "real loser" or "psycho bitch". (For definition of "real loser", see "John DeLorean: My Story", available at most bookstores; George Hamilton at one of Imelda Marcos' parties; or any picture of Bob Guccione in Penthouse. For definition of "psycho bitch," see Sharon Stone in "Basic Instinct," or Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction.")

3. DEFINITION OF RELATIONSHIP: Should said relationship proceed past the first "fix-up" both parties mutually agree to use the following terminology in describing their said "dating": For the first thirty (30) days both parties consent to say they are "going out". (This neither implies nor states any guarantee of exclusivity.) Following the first thirty (30) days said parties may say they are "seeing somebody" and may be referred to by third parties as "an item". Sixty (60) days following the commencement of the "first date" either member may elect to use the terms "girl/boyfriend" or "lover" and their mutual acquaintances may refer to them as "a couple". Under no circumstances are the phrases "my better half," "the little woman," "the old ball and chain," or "my old man/lady" acceptable. Further, if both members of the party consent, this timetable may be accelerated; however, if either party "gets too serious" and disregards this schedule, the other party may dissolve the relationship on the grounds of "moving too fast" and may once again be said to be "on the market."

4. TERMS OF EXCLUSIVITY: For the first thirty (30) days both parties agree not to ask questions about the others whereabouts on weekends, weeknights, or over long holiday periods. No unreasonable demands or expectations will be made; both parties agree they have no "rights" or "holds" on the other's time. Following the first six weeks or forty-five (45) days, if one party continues to be "missing in action" without explanation, the "wounded party" agrees to "give up".

5. DATING ETIQUETTE: For the first thirty (30) days both members of the couple agree to be overly considerate of the other's work pressures, schedules, and business ambitions. A minimum of three (3) phone calls will be made between the two parties during the working day, and each party will attempt - with best efforts - to originate 50% of the phone calls. Additionally, for the first two weeks all dates will be made at least twenty-four (24) hours in advance; there will be no "running off in the middle of the night to console an old girl/boyfriend", and both parties agree to strike the phrase "but he/she needs me" from their vocabulary. Further, during the first six (6) weeks each member of said relationship agrees to attempt at least one spontaneous "home cooked meal" and will arrange the delivery of at least one unexpected bouquet of flowers. Following the first forty-five (45) days both parties will return to their normal personalities .

6. TERMS OF PAYMENT: It is agreed that - respective gross income aside - "he" will pick up the tab at all dinners, clubs, theaters, and breakfasts until:

(a) He considers her suitably impressed,
(b) we are broke, or
(c) He says, "this is ridiculous, you pay!".

Not included in this agreement are meals ordered from the bedroom, which are subject to the availability of discretionary funds on hand at the time.

7. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS (occasionally known as the "Why do I bother to keep my own apartment?" codicil): Should said relationship progress to the point where the couple spends more then five nights a week together, every effort shall be made to split the time between their respective apartments. Further, it is agreed that both sides will attempt to silence the lewd remarks of landlords, or roommates. Additionally, both will avoid having their mother call at 7:30 in the morning. He agrees to "pick up after himself" while in residence at her apartment, including washing his whiskers out of the sink, and assisting with household duties. (By the same token, she agrees to respect his right to keep his apartment "a mess".)

8. THE 90 DAY GRACE PERIOD: For the first three months, each member of the couple agrees to hold the other blameless in the euphoric use of phrases like "Let's move in together," "Why don't we start a family?" and -- using archaic terminology -- "Let's get married." Additionally, each party agrees to love, cherish, honor, and defend the other party's right not to meet his parents.

9. THE "L" WORD: For the first sixty (60) days both parties agree not to use the phrase "I love you." They may love plants, dogs, cats, cars, concerts, or the way a particular pair of jeans fits, but not each other. Failure by one party to abide by this rule will result in the other party using the "G" word. . . "Gone."

10. GROUNDS FOR TERMINATION: Any of the following will be grounds for immediate termination and final dissolution of said relationship:

(a) Excessive use of chatty French phrases;
(b) Ending any argument with the sentence "My ex- used to do that same thing";
(c) Suggesting - no matter how kindly - that the other member should seek "help";
(d) ending any argument with the phrase "My analyst thinks you are..."; and
(e) complaining more than twice about the contents of the other party's refrigerator (or lack thereof).

11. DECLARATION OF STRENGTH: At the time of breakup each party reserves the right to make the other feel guilty by using one or all of the following phrases:

(a) "You'll never find anybody better";
(b) "Nobody could ever make you happy";
(c) "I'll find somebody who can really appreciate me"; and
(d) "My analyst thinks you are . . ." (Psychosis to be filled in at the proper time.)

12. MISCELLANEOUS:

(a) Each party agrees to give the other at least five minutes' notice before terminating said relationship;
(b) both parties agree to remain exclusive until such time as the relationship appears to be "on the rocks";
(c) at the termination of said affair:

(1) both parties agree to be mature and return compiled socks, sweatshirts, books, record albums, door keys, personal undergarments with all due haste through impartial intermediary;
(2) each party agrees to wait at least seventy-two (72) hours before engaging in sex with any of the other's friends;
(3) both parties agree to refrain from slandering the other for a period of at least seven days (bedroom performance included), and further consent to use one of the following nebulous terms in the description of the breakup:

"The timing wasn't right";
"He/She wanted more than I could give";
"He/She was too involved in his/her career";
"He/She decided to go back with his/her

(a) girl/boyfriend;
(b) last lover;
(c) hometown;
(d) therapist".

13. ADDENDUM: After the initial breakup - no matter what - both parties agree to give the relationship "one (1) more shot".

Hazardous Materials Information Sheet... :)

MATERIALS SAFETY DATA SHEET

WOMEN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

ELEMENT: Women

SYMBOL: Wo

DISCOVERER: Adam

ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6 kg, but known to vary from 40-200 kg

OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
2. Boils at nothing; freezes without know reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.

TESTS:

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS:

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.

GirlFriend...!!

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus 1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee 1.0). Recently he upgraded Fiancee 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and it's a memory hogger, it has taken all his space; and Wife 1.0 must be running before he can do anything. Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw and BrotherInLaw.

Some features I'd like to see in the upcoming GirlFriend 4.0...

• - A "Don't remind me again" button
• - Minimize button
• - Shutdown feature
• - An install shield feature so that GirlFriend 4.0 can be completely uninstalled if so desired (so you don't lose cache and other objects)

I tried running GirlFriend 2.0 with GirlFriend 1.0 still installed, they tried using the same I/O port and conflicted. Then I tried to uninstall GirlFriend 1.0 but it didn't have an uninstall program. I tried to uninstall it by hand, but it put files in my system directory. Another thing that sucks in all versions of GirlFriend that I've used is that it is totally "object oriented" and only supported hardware with gold plated contacts.

BUG WARNING

Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.