I had this thoughts running through my mind early in the morning.I was looking into the mirror,there was a change.I no longer see myself as the arrogant,hot head.I cant bully anymore,i lost anger,i have become easily gullible,i became humble,rather i was humbled.Lost my guts.Its like i am afraid of everything now.Something has seriously gone wrong.I noticed later in the day when i wanted to bully a freshmen,i tried to shout but i managed to squeak ! Gosh,i no longer can do that.Feelings of remorse,feeling of sadness has crept in thinking about the various people i have pained. I no longer feel angry if people bully me or pain me.There always was an aura of arrogance and over confidence which i carried so much as my identity,but i feel the aura is lost.I expect only miracles can give me back my old personality.I don't know whether whats happening is for my own good or not,but i am dwelling now in my new found life.I swim,but no longer in the ocean of feelings,if i try to,i did drown for sure.
Life has so many surprises in store.The setbacks i have been having right from the start of this year has put me into serious deliberation of planning and chalking out my future steps.I need to be overcareful. I lost interest in many things.I just have to get along,no matter what,i need to persist.I need to find the true ME,which has been alluding me for a long time.Its that time in life when i need to really think what i need.I no longer want things,i just need them.As i was reading marketing management last night,it tells there is a whole lot of difference between a want and a need.I don't want the niceties of life,i just need the basic things in life.
Hoping this new outlook and humbled life will give me the things i need...
:)
Signing off...No longer "Drac"
Shyam.....
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3 comments:
The greatest creation of all time is the mind, and understanding it is no mean task. It can drive people to the limits of their sanity, so uncertain, unstable and fluctuating it is. The complexity of this masterpiece is truly absorbed by none other than Him , for He is the one who authored it in the first place. However, there are those who realize the extent of its intricate nature when they feel they have lost touch of themselves and become something they never thought they were and would be, when everything feels so out of hand yet for the good ... are the people who are a step ahead of everyone else in the path of knowing Him ...
I wish you all the best in your life.
A friend
hi anna,
its great to see and read the truth, the true YOU. Naked Shyam-sans ego, pride, arrogance. if you think Miracles can change you- let them not happen.
but then, to be honest and candid, you are a source of inspriation and plz continue to be so....its a basic need and not a want!!!
regards,
Ramchander.P
I think , that carrying that "DRACIAN" outlook makes you what you are , much like the Green Goblin . It would be a pity to see you without the whole "DRACIAN" attitude :)
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